


A Buffalo and a Peacock

by vnfmssk



Category: Original Work, orig - Fandom
Genre: Crushes, F/M, Gen, Other, Romance, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:40:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25531489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vnfmssk/pseuds/vnfmssk
Relationships: Original Female Character/Original Male Character, Original Male Character/Original Male Character





	1. Buffalo can be weak

It's still a mystery to me on how I could endure this for so many years. I'm not one with the strongest patience, let alone for a man. For the whole seven years since I knew him, I have been waiting silently for a text to push through saying at least, "I'll be back after two," or something.

The rain has been pouring since the evening. Spring has come in a week or so. I didn't notice. I don't get to enjoy a single season since last December, mainly because I was nervous and anxious, perhaps a little excited and giddy for months long. It has gone chaotic since the last gathering the batch had, the first meeting I had with him after years. I don't recall much of the events happening around that time because they feel almost surreal to me.

The only thing that keep my feet on the ground and enable me to fact check the reality I'm living in is this house. The semi-empty soulless apartment that I assumed was belong to his father, one way or another, I'm not so sure. I didn't shove my nose in his business because I'm scared he'll be annoyed at it. If anything, I just want to be on his good side as long as I'm here. I'm hoping forever. But it gets a little frustrating after just a month.

I sunk deeper into the pile of blankets, pulling them closer. It's chilly inside, especially.

A message comes through. As fast as lightning, I grab it, only to realize it is after all from Nat, declaring her boredom and hunger. I toss it away, agitated since it isn't coming from the person I've been waiting for but quickly grab it back to reply because Natalie did nothing wrong for me to simply ignore her.

'Wanna go grab some food and late night talks?'

I reply. 'Sure. See you at usual.'

Within twenty-minutes of drive, I find her on the usual spot we sat for every our late night meals and chats. We call it vent hour, summarizing the frustrating week we had mainly at job, generally in life. When she texts over, I could tell that the stories had been in her for a little while now, especially after I had moved out, suffocating her. She’s probably at her last wit when she decides to come to me.

“Whaddup?” I take a seat across her, scanning the usual set of meals she has ordered. “You’ve paid these?”

She nods. “Do you want something else?”

I shake my head, satisfied with what has been served. Besides, I’m not too much in the mood to eat anything. I still have the leftover from the dinner that I made just now.

“Adam’s at home?”

I shake my head again. “All the reason why I’m here, buddy.”

She grins. “Or else you’ll stuck yourself at home, gawking at your dear husband.”

I form a small smile, stealing a fries in the small basket. Reading people has been my expertise. From the first look I could tell she’s feeling terribly bothered. “Let’s not beat around the bush. What’s bothering you?"

Nat chews the fries in her mouth before relieving a deep sigh. Her eyes look puffy, the circle beneath her eyes darkened. “It’s the old same thing. The colleagues and the work burden.”

I bop my head several times, already memorized all the names of her workmates that give her a hard time working there. All the petty childish act of pushing all the workload on her and blame her for never finishing them. “You’re planning to work somewhere else? I can try ask HR if they’re hiring.”

“I’ll be blessed if they hire me!” She cries, shoving at least three pieces of fries in her mouth several times before munching. “But if not, I’m gonna try to endure it for another month.”

“I’m sure you can do it, bud. You’ve been dealing with assholes for your life. These peasants are just a small obstacle to you, queen.” I pick up the drink, signaling her to have a toast with me.

A few sips and she wipes her fingers before clasping them, grinning in please. “So how’s everything? I purposely didn’t contact you for a while to give you both some space.” She winks naughtily, picking a drumstick from the tray.

I open my mouth to answer but close it back soon after. I haven’t formed any proper or convincing answer before coming here. I haven’t drawn any storyboards of lies to tell people. “Good…I guess.”

Her expression falls as she pouts. “You’re keeping them from me…” Her mumbles disappears as my attention divert to the noise of a group of men coming into the store, cheering loudly. Some of them wear the designated football club jerseys. I figure the game has ended and they’re celebrating their favourite team winning. “…he’s your crush after all!” Her voice calls me back from my trance.

“Right.” I shyly laugh. "He is."

Nat beams, tilting her head right and left that her brown bob hair sways. She seems to be recently having a haircut. "Tell me about it. Don't you feel like living the dream to be marrying your own crush?"

I shrug, still putting up a smile that I haven't wiped off. Not sure whether it is pure sincere or an act I have to put up. "It's a little crazy-" I take another few pieces of fries and shove them in my mouth. "-after all it's very sudden. What can I say about it? He's super cute and he's super mine." I speak through my full mouth. Somehow I feel like I could facade my real expression by diverting my focus elsewhere.

She seems to buy it. "Aww..." She coos, clasping her hands again in pure bliss. She has been rooting for me to confess, knowing too well of the stories I have told several times over midnight drunk session.

But I never did. The courage never builds in me. Every time I feel like I have gather enough courage, I went to his social media account to find out he has climb another stair of success and I'm still in the lower ground. I feel so small as compared to him. I feel not in the league. I feel that he has better range of girls that he can choose from and I'm definitely never gonna make it in the list.

I was the loud girl in class. Coming from an all-girl high school, I barely paid heed on any men. My goal was to defeat them, overthrown them, mentally and physically. I made myself believe that I'm stronger than them. Every time I forced fist fight with my male friends and every time I won, not knowing they just let me had my way. Trust me, it was not for hatred. I just think female was always the weaker group and I don't like the idea at all. I have this thought way before I knew what feminist is.

In the new surrounding of college, I turned out to be not much of impressive. I'm just a noisy loud kid who pulled up a tough act and all gangster while everyone else was being classy. It suddenly occurred to me that our upbringing were different. I was from countryside, fighting my way to go to a local university to pursue study while everyone else brought their latest iPhone, flexing on their recent aesthetic pictures they snap while going to class.

And Adam was among them. The classy and rich but never a snob one. He's the total opposite of them...and me.

I toss the key in the air, catching it back in my palm before pulling myself for a tighter hug. The air was still chill even after hours since the heavy rain stops. Slow pitter patter greets me and I inhale the early dawn breeze deeply. Droplets of dew from a tree nearby send me another chilly wave.

I turn around when I heard my full name is called. I don't have to second guess to find out who that is.

Adam jogs toward me from his parking space, flashing a small smile. "You're just home..."

Even though I want to play hard by ignoring him, disheartened at how he never replies me back after I inform him that I'll be going out, instinctively I draw a wide smile. "Yeah I texted you last night."

He nods a couple of times, taking the lead to the elevator. The lamps haven't been turned off since it's still dark outside. "Oh yes,"

His hem of red shirt creeps beneath his black jacket as he stretches his arm to push the button. It's the same shirt the men wore last night.

"Your team won the game, isn't it?" I try to break the ice that spread around the air.

He swiftly looks and nods before diverting his attention to his phone. He only looks up when the elevator door opens, politely gesturing me to enter.

I poke the inner side of my cheek with my tongue, crippling under the awkward air we're emitting. I can't lash out at him for ignoring me because he isn't. He replies me every time I ask. But he isn't giving me enough attention that I want. The attention that a usual husband would give to his newly-wed wife.

"Sam said he'll come over to eat some times." He says in the midst of that silence.

I startle for a millisecond by his sudden start of conversation. "Oh sure, anytime he wants." He doesn't reply. "You guys hanging out last night?"

He beams. Maybe the topic gets to his attention. "Yeah, with AJ and Craig."

I hate Craig. He was never in my favour since the first semester. Annoying to the core with all his dumb jokes and rude attitude. I don't understand how these two polars still stick together. While AJ seems to hate me. He always has the snarky remarks to say towards me when he could be superb friendly with someone else. In a nutshell, nobody in his team, not even one from his bigger clique was nice to me during school. Maybe they find me not very appealing with how messy I dressed and ugly-looking bared face. Or maybe by how loud and nerd I sound from the front.

"Oh," I mouth, exiting the elevator with him following closely from behind. "Nat said hi, by the way."

He presses the password and it sings sweet melody before the door click open. He tries to form a word but nothing escapes his mouth.

"Maybe I should go sleep with her sometimes. She seems to be in a distressed phase." I continue, trying to prolong the conversation.

Adam doesn't say anything for a while, preoccupied with taking off his shoes and sorting his keys. He only nods after, mumbling a soft 'sure' followed by 'nite' before heading straight to his room.

I watch his back until he shuts the door behind him. Making a turn to my room, I notice how bare the new house is. The plain white paint, the boring cheap wooden door, steel knob, and my empty room. My clothes mostly are in my luggage still. I brought over a hanging pole from the shared rental house to hang one or two ironed clothes for work. I barely have time to properly make anything in this room pleasant.

It scares me to imagine that I have to stay in this room forever. But I guess, I have to.


	2. Peacock isn't always proud

His cough and loud clanging in the kitchen wake me up. I was still in jeans and sweater from last night, unchanged. I didn't even brush my teeth or washed up before going to sleep. Slight glance at the small mirror on the old wooden table halt me from directly going out. I don't want him to see me like this, disheveled hair and swollen face.

I run my fingers through the strand of my hair, gently pulling it up to a bun. I lightly slap my cheeks several times before taking off my sweater. Still wearing jeans, I go out to see what's the commotion that wake me up. Maybe he has burnt the kitchen, but I was late to help because I'm fixing my face that barely fixed.

Adam is only in his short, struggling to make scrambled egg. The kitchen is in dire with so many dirty dishes in sink and spilt water on the floor. I'm sure he never cook in his life with the amount of food he ordered everyday. I take a glance of the time. It's almost noon and we both just woke up. Not much restaurants serve breakfast at this hour anymore.

"Do you need help?" I ask.

He's startled by my voice but calmly shakes his head. Adam has politely rejected my first serving of breakfast for him saying he doesn't want us to get carried away when there's no one around for us to keep pretending. We just have to mind our own business and nothing more. So his decline of my help is already expected.

I nod, turning to the sink to clean them dishes. But I figure that'll just put him in an uncomfortable situation. So I decide to just wash up first and leave him alone.

When I come back all freshen up, he has already well seated, eating his meal, now wearing last night football club jersey. His hair is still everywhere but he looks cute as always.

The dirty dishes in the sink had been taken care. So I march in, making myself a heavy meal of brunch that probably gonna last me till evening. Fried rice and omelet rolls, made quick and simple. As I place my meal on the dining table, he's barely halfway on finishing his. He's busy reading into his phone, not sure of chats, news, or articles. He looks serious, casual scoffs and snickers escape his mouth as we silently munch our own food. When he put down his phone, he finally notices me.

"That actually look a lot more delicious than my meal. I burnt my toast." He laughs, shaking his head, probably agreeing at how silly he is.

It's not that hard to hear his laugh but he's pretty stingy of it. As much as he's stingy of the word to mutter.

I shyly smile to his compliment, contemplating whether it's a good idea to ask if he wants some. After a while building the courage, I ask. "Do you want to try?"

He draws a wide toothless smile and shakes his head. "I know it's delicious. I don't want to crave for it later."

"Oh but I can always make you one if you want it."

He shakes his head again. "No, thanks."

I know I have crossed the lines when his feedback is short and simple like that. It takes another minute for me to gather the courage to speak on the dialogues that I have planned overnight.

"Can I ask you something?" Adam looks up and waits as he lightly nods. "I thought of painting the room I stay in. I didn't get the chance in the rental house I lived before. The owner was very particular on the damaged we might cause..."

He looks on his meal, scooping the last portion into his mouth. His head bops as he chews. "Sure," He says while chewing the remainings. "Do whatever you want. It's already fully paid so sure. Just don't break down the wall or something." He laughs. Finishing, Adam takes his empty plate to the sink.

As he returns to his room, he runs his finger through his hair that is getting longer since our wedding. He briefly winks when he notices my long stares that has been quietly following his trails. I look away instantly, pretending that I was initially in deep trance and had looked pass him instead.

I know he would wash up and go out again because that has been his routine since the last four weeks. He doesn't stay too long at home and it has been bothering me if this decision we made is actually wrong. He's drifting farther then we used to be. I can feel that he's slowly hating me or something.

We were not actually that close before. We weren't even friend. Several casual talks and waves, secret jokes and hidden winks, random chats and exchanging of help. Aside from that, nothing. I couldn't even put a label to what we were before, let alone now.

From the outside, that average tall man with dark brown hair which was neatly cut looked arrogant, especially when he picked a seat on the left side of the auditorium, throwing a leg over the swing desk. He had his eyes constantly on phone, not making much noise when his newly-made friends were already so loud announcing their arrival.

I noticed his presence. More like actually waiting for his presence because a friend said that that guy we saw in cafeteria was really cute and she would like to know the name. I went out to say I could use my spy-sense to figure out when I was actually waiting for the lecturer to ask us to introduce ourselves on this first class and picked up his name as he went.

Sadly, that was a huge class and asking each one of us to introduce our background really gonna take at least two hours. So our prof decided to drop the session and believed we could break the ice on our own next time or after class, he could care less about it.

Anyway, I immediately found him like an arse. A peacock full of pride. He wasn't friendly to anyone and to be friendly with me was far from a dream I could imagine. Not that I hope we could cross fate again because God knows I hated that kind of men.

My view on him changed on the second class when he hushed his friends that made noise while I was answering the prof. He sat in different location each class and each time, closer to me. And after a while, he started talking to me. He didn't begin with casual conversation and I didn't bother. I didn't know where he learnt my full name but I knew his name when his friend called him. He would ask about homework, and then shake my seat if I ignore him by pretending to listen to songs, crack lousy jokes, ignored the girls who out of nowhere sat behind him and continued to ask me unnecessary things.

He would say, "Hey, the class is cancelled today,"

I frowned in confusion with the fact that he's suddenly a seat away next to mine and that was the last class for the day. "What?"

"That was a lie!" He cackled. It was a terrible lie. The most childish and ridiculous lie I have ever heard. I wasn't even cheated. I was just blatantly confused by the sheer random of this conversation. "Lie at me back," It sunk in me that he was mocking the subtitute lecturer that was saying that we matured as much as we were lied on.

That was downright stupid. I had to shake my head at the fact that this cute guy has terrible sense of humor. Another turn to him and I saw he was looking expectant.

"Hey," I called. "You're pretty." I said.

He fight the urge to smile wide, biting his lips as his ears turned red. "That was a lie, dude." I assured and almost instantly the smile wiped off. I wasn't sure if his friends at the back heard our conversation or not but oh well.

It made me laugh until night.

But here's the thing. He only talked to me in that class. Sometimes I'd wave him when we're catching bus and he would playfully wink. But when I was with my friends or in other classes, he would ignore me completely and acted as if we didn't even know each other. I would tell off people that I knew him and then embarrassingly treated like a stranger. It really pissed me off that I swore on next semester to never have the same class with him and if I do, I'd ignore the heck out of him.

Fool, fool me. I never realized I had fallen shit on him.

Because besides the ignoring part, he's actually a really nice person. He was friendly to everyone, not quite the smartest but he didn't slack off classes. A simple cute guy that almost everyone adore.

Every time I said to myself I'd move on, every time he'd come back making suggestive gestures that _maybe_ I stand a chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, hope you start to like it :)


	3. Two peas from different pods

"I'll play for you next time," He placed the guitar back in the car boot, slamming the door after.

I stared at him, wearing a disappointed expression. Maybe he would pity me and changed his mind.

"I told you to bring it in but you don't want," He pointed at me. Adam fixes the sling bag on his shoulder and walked to class, leaving me to contemplate an argument.

I got none and my friend had left too so I trailed after them wondering if he meant his words. It could be an empty promise but it kept me awake several nights, picturing the days when he would finally play a song for me.

Years after that farewell party for the class, he still hasn't played anything for me. I can hear the vivid strumming and plucking from his room but it isn't especially played for me. My bet is he never meant his words and he has forgotten it. While here I am, holding to that small promise like an idiot.

His door swings open and I clumsily gather the papers on the counter and pretend to be deeply immersed in them.

He walks pass and goes straight to the fridge, taking out a bottle of blueberry yogurt drink and chugs it down. "It's weekend," He suddenly breaks the silence. I assume it to be a mere attempt of filling the air instead of actually conversing with me. "And you're working."

I turn to him when I'm sure he means it to me. "Ah...well. I have to gather some material for tomorrow's meeting." I answer.

He pulls the stool and sits across me, observing the scattering papers and magazines on what should be the tea snacks considering the time.

"What about you? It's rare to have you at home." I comment, not looking at him but to my notes. Not a single word that I read register in my mind as I wait for his answer. I feel the urge to look up, drinking the sight of him being the closest to me after our wedding but I'm so scared that I'll look so desperate.

"Last week, I went out with Sam again." He begins, softly drumming his fingers on the counter instinctively. "I think he smells something fishy that I'm always out either with him or others on weekend." He combs the strand of hair that falls and covers his face with his fingers. "That’s reckless move."

I snort. "You don't say? Anyone would be suspicious for that too."

He yawns and stretches his arms. "Oh well I don't really care if he knows or not. We're not doing anything wrong, though." Adam folds his arm together, placing them on the counter before resting his head on them.

"Then why don't you just tell him?" I ask.

He flinches and looks up, blinking innocently, launching forward that our gap decreases. "Should I?"

No, he should not. I don't want Adam's friends to know that this is fake. I don't want my friend to know that this is fake. Because the fact that our marriage is based on contract and not love just pained me. I don't want people to know that Adam doesn't actually like me and all of this is just pretentious. That his proposal in last December was an attempt to stop his mother from matchmaking him with her friends' daughters. That I was just an alternate way to escape his dilemma.

"Suit yourself," I reply.

He chuckles, resting his head back on his arms. "Let him figure it out on his own. I want to see if he's smart enough..." He lets out a soft groan, repositioning until he finds comfort in his position.

"I could hear you're playing your guitar inside...why don't you bring it out and play here?" I suggest, more like luring him to play it in front of me.

"Naaahhhh..." He stretches his words, declining. "I'm done practicing."

The rhythmic tap of my pen on the book comes to an abrupt halt. "Practice? For what? Are you performing?"

He hums softly. "Simple play for birthday celebration. You know Sam's around the corner, right?" He props his elbow and cups his face, slight smirk appears at the end of his lips. "You wished him right on 12 last year."

My eyes widen but they meet his. Instantly, I look down back. "He told you?"

"No, I read the message." He casually says. "And reply it."

Blood rushes to my cheeks. I cup them quickly, pretending to rub them in seriousness as if I'm in a deep thought. The thought of me trying to get close to Sam so I can get in their circle has put me into shame. And the fact that he read it really embarrassed me. It didn't even make me wonder if he lied because he did at least twice before, sending love emojis through his friends' phone when they were texting me.

"Amy posted a wish on his birthday once so I kind of remember. It's the same date with my celebrity crush." I reason out, scribbling more words in my notebook, all the things that I may not even need.

He snorts. "I'm not even going to ask who. You have like 30 crushes."

He leans in his palm, eyes slowly close. His hair is everywhere but he looks cute as always, like a soft boy. Pretty sensitive but hardly shows.

I fight a smile. "You have yours too."

He hums. "Not that many and not that long. I like real person." His eyes twinkle for the teasing line he just tosses.

"What do you mean...they're real people too!" I heighten my voice, throwing a crumpled paper at him, laughing.

He yawns, clumsily catching the paper. Adam straightens it up, and with pouted lips he judges my drawing. "I used to ask you to draw me. Where's the potrait?"

I scrunch my nose, trying to find reason. "I don't have your picture."

Adam places the paper full of scribbles of peacock feathers and frowns. "There's like a ton. Well, there's the wedding picture..."

"Oh talking about that. I think I'm going to Ikea this evening. I need some frames...and paints...-I really can paint the wall, right?" I ask.

He stands up, letting out a loud groan as he stretches his arms. "Sure, Emma." He trudges back to his room, ruffling his hair lazily.

I sunk in disappointment when I lose my chance to invite him to join me. Well, at least today's conversation is an improvement than the last 10 weeks he treated me. We only greeted in the morning and wished goodnight before going to sleep.

Sometimes, I'm glad that I accept his proposal although I have to bear this frustrating situation. Glad that I went to that farewell party when one of his girl friends half-halfheartedly invited me.

That farewell when I felt outcast-ed by the same people who invited me over.

I leaned against the railings, watching the crowd from a far. I had ran off as soon as I saw Adam came, making a quick turn while grabbing a drink. I thought of going back as soon as I finish this glass, lingering for a while, waiting for uncertainties. I was nervous but I wanted to wait.

Them all were having fun, cheering and shrieking as they made another toast. Not a single person care when I stood alone. Nobody notices my absence among those crowd.

A single person stride closer, wearing a naughty smirk. He raised his can of drink mid-air, another hand in his khaki pants' pocket.

"You're just back from work?" I asked. Unconsciously I drew a wide smile, seeing at least out of that many people, someone came for me.

He spread his arms haughtily, stood next to me but threw his gaze down there. I could bet my life that Patricia booked this place. Party on the rooftop of the highest building they could find. The sheer description of this place loudly spelled Patricia.

I nudged him. "I ask you, buddy."

"Don't talk to me. I come here to breathe in some air." He purposely breathed in with extra noise, then giggled afterward. "I have to admit, I'm quite surprise to see you here."

I took a sip, still looking ahead. Identifying each person I knew and frowning at the people I didn't even could tell who.

He leaned closer, snapping his fingers.

"Oh you were talking to me?" I feigned surprise. A smack on his shoulder cackled him. "Fuck off, Sam. Don't put me in even more distress. I'll leave after this drink."

"I was just kidding," He sniffled his laugh, glancing at the crowd then back to the night city scene spread across him.

"I don't even know why I'm here. I hate parties and I hate crowds. Most of these people hate me. If anything, this isn't my clique at all. Why did I even bother coming? I thought someone might have approached me with friendly smile because I might have changed a little since the past five years..."

"You talk a lot when given the chance." He commented.

I threw another punch which he barely had the will to dodge. "I fucking hate you!" I whined. I chugged down the last bit of the drink, about to leave as I had planned a while ago.

Sam laughed heartily. "You snapped so often. You haven't changed a single shit." He turned to me. "I'm sorry, I'm kidding. I miss seeing you too." He pulled a soft smile, knocking his beer can on my forehead.

I pulled my lips into a pout, hugging myself as I lingered a little bit more although my glass is empty and Sam hasn't spoken a word after that. I wanted to ask him more questions but I don't want him to shut me up like just now.

Carefully glancing at him, I noticed the tuck-in shirt, folded sleeves, and the empty pierced ears. He used to wear different sets of earrings each classes, plaid shirts, and skinny jeans. Right now, he looked more compose but seemed to be dwelling with more emotions despite being pretty non expressive.

"How's work going?" I asked, baiting him for a talk but if he dismissed me again, I'd throw him off the building.

He scoffed. "Do you even have to ask? Three years and I'm still finding myself." He answered. Seriousness coated every word he muttered. "Tough world out here. How's yours?"

I groaned, mirroring him by switching my view down at the city. "It's even worse for me. I'm barely alive."

He let out another series of laugh. His eyes looked like he's saying the same words from two years ago. 'This big city is never a place for people like us.'

"Why did you come here then? Should have gotten married and be a housewife or something."

"Salty ass." I commented. "She's married a year ago. Move on!" I shouted, cracking louder laugh as I noticed how pissed off he became. Not even after 8 months of their break up, Amy got married. Had I known earlier, I'd rub lemon on his wound. For fun.

"Having fun, Emma?"

Now, there weren't many that call my name like that, stressing every syllable especially at greetings. Usually, it's just Emm, or just casual bruh. He just wanted to make sure I knew he was talking to me.

I turned around and squirmed. His peach knitted pullover complimented his skin and that droopy tiring eyes just made him look somehow sexy. His fringe grew longer since the last photo I saw Sam updates in Instagram. He folded his arms to his chest, looking up and trudged to stand to my other side.

"Why are you both here?" He asked again.

"Should I go then?" Sam asked, not even looking at him.

Adam chuckled. "No, please stay. Hug me here, as we bath the moonlight." Then he rolled his eyes. "What are we eating afterward?"

"Bruh, diet." Sam said. "What's the point of that whole week of going to the gym then?"

My eyes juggled to the left and right, watching them batting the conversation like a badminton game. "Hold on, I'm staying here because this is my port. In case you both want to have that married-couples conversation, you can take few strides away. The railing goes up till there." I pointed to the end of the building, secretly hoping they didn't leave me for real.

Adam hummed, looking at me, then at Sam. "Should we, bro?"

"Yeah, sure why not."

Oh fudge this Sam. Why did he have to agree?

I took a deep sharp breath, finalizing my decision on leaving for real. Nobody is happy upon seeing me. And he definitely didn't care less if I had been there or not.

"Hey Emma," He chuckled and Sam looked away, snickering at maybe how quick I snapped at everything. "How are you? It has been quite some time." He said.

"I don't know. Have been wanting to not exist these days." I answered spitefully. There goes my opening conversation, full of bitter words. Instead of putting a sweet facade, I came out like a total jerk.

"She's pretty salty these days. All her friends are married and she's kinda the last unsold pack."

I swung a hard blow at Sam's stomach, breathing out a weak 'fuck you,' but he only cackled after emitting a quick sharp groan. "It was nothing like that." I assured Adam. "Really,"

"Hey I still have that chats from two nights ago." Sam interrupted. "And he knows about it. This fella can't put his hand on himself. He reads everything."

I turned to Sam completely, my eyes rounded, my face crunched uncomfortably. I mouthed, "What the...."

But he pulled an innocent smile, nodding his head. He mouthed back, "Everything..." Then, Sam straightened up, shaking the empty can in his hold. He mumbled a quick bye before going off, leaving me with this man that I have waited the whole night.

"I don't remember you guys being so close before." He commented. He bent forward, placing his arms on the railings, breathing in the night air.

I took a while in answering because I didn't even know when did I start being close with Sam. Maybe around that time when we just finish school, when Amy stayed in my house and he came to pick her up. And several months later I called him because I was bored. He didn't answer the call, I even yelled at him. But he played stupid at it. I didn't take anything to heart. Then I realised he was closed to Adam to the extend of staying together until now.

I tried to take advantage on that. Knowing Adam's schedule through his posts. And slowly, I learnt on how mellow, sensitive, and a cry baby he is. The demeanour he put during college days was merely a mask. Shared a couple of interest, even dared to text him at three in the morning venting my life plot and he basically left me on seen but I never, never took it to heart.

I figured, that's how a bastard he is.

"Few stuffs happen..." I meekly answered. I always lose my words when he's in front of me. Heck, I lose my words when texting him that the conversation always stopped after the second replies. "How are you?"

"Great..." He replied. Maybe he didn't know what to say too because he looked ahead, biting his lips. "Where's Natalie?"

"Nat had night shift." I swiftly answered. Then it fell into another frustrating silence. I could curse and smack Sam but I could never do the same in front of Adam. And this silence slowly killed me inside.

"So, you're planning on getting married?" He faced me, only leaning on one side.

I blew a raspberry and rolled my eyes. "That was just a joke."

"You did sound serious, though." He commented. When I looked up at him, wondering if he really read it, he simply nodded to confirm.

I puffed an air, recalling why I even rant that crap to Samuel. That guy never cared what I vent at him. He's like a diary. But knowing Adam knew all of those chats, I have mixed feelings. Mad but glad he knew, because I did want him to somehow know.

"Honestly, it's pretty lonely out here. My girl friends are having their little family, their mini me and on weekend they will keep posting their babies' photos." I shrugged. "That looks so happy...I kinda jealous of that?"

His lips protruded, taking a while to slightly agree. "Do you think you'll be happy if you're married to someone?" I shrugged but nodded afterward. I wasn't sure but I could keep the faith. Besides, I'd seriously move on from him if I have someone else to love. "But if you aren't happy single, you won't be happy married."

I waved him off. "Oh well, don't worry. Nobody is going to marry me anyway."

He snickered.

Two nights later, he proposed me. At 3AM. Over the text.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you could leave some comments...


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